Shinigami Love
by Onime no Kyo13
Summary: A crack fic i started mainly for shock value... I have noo idea where this is going. Warning: LightxRyuk
1. Chapter 1

AN: I do not own Death Note, nor do I claim to. So there. It is copyright its creators.

And… if you are offended by crack fics involving shinigamixhuman, run away.

Ryuk was sitting peacefully in the corner of Light's room, eating an apple. He was watching Light scribble things into the Death Note, and do homework at the same time. He could not hear Light's frantic beating heart, not his nervous breathing. Beads of perspiration were beginning to form on his forehead.

Light swallowed several times, trying not to shake. He had had that dream again last night. The one with him and Ryuk. Now, he was sitting at his desk with his back to Ryuk, wondering if Shinigami could read thoughts.

What would Ryuk think? Would he be repulsed? As much as Light was repulsed by his own dream, he didn't want Ryuk to be.

_Oh, Ryuk… Why are you always on my mind?_ He glanced at him, serenely eating his apple, his huge round eyes refecting the afternoon light. He looked so beautiful.

Light's reverie was cut short when Ryuk noticed him staring. "What's up?" he asked. Light turned away before Ryuk could see his blush, and muttered, "Nothing."

_What am I doing? Why am I blushing?_ His face indeed felt very hot. What did the shinigami's face feel like? _I need to stop thinking like that!_ He continued to argue with himself until his mother called him down for dinner.

His relief did not last long, as Ryuk followed him downstairs.

Light's father sighed, and commented that the Kira case was going nowhere. Almost everyone had jumped ship, and L liked to act like a monkey. It was hard to concentrate when L looked at him with those huge eyes and talked about his hunches! Why couldn't he take the Kira case more seriously?

He stopped talking and looked at his son, for it was unusual for him not to make some comment when the subject of Kira came up. Light was leaning on his elbows, looking off into the distance…

"What's the matter, son? Thinking about a girl?"

Light shot up out of his hair, knocking it over. "I-it's nothing like that!" he shouted, and ran upstairs. And it indeed was nothing like that, unless Ryuk was female (but he seemed decidedly male to Light…)

Light's father looked at his mother. "Ah, teenage years… I remember when I first had a crush on a girl…"

His mother said, "I just hope it doesn't affect his school work!"

That night… Light stared at the wall next to his bed.

"…Ryuk?"

"Yes?"

"Nothing… I was just wondering if you were still here, is all…"

"Where else would I be?"

"Never mind. Good night, Ryuk."

"Good night, Light."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I just started volume 4…. Weeeeeeeeee!

Light woke up, sweating terribly. He had that dream again. He looked for Ryuk, realizing suddenly that he didn't know if shinigami slept. Ryuk wasn't in the room, but if he squinted, he could see his silhouette in the window. Light nervously turned onto his side, wondering if Ryuk could see him. This had never bothered him before, not even when dealing with L when the shinigami was behind him, breathing on his neck. He had always assumed he was just being stupid but…

He shivered. Why did he keep thinking like this? Why did he think Ryuk looked so pretty? What the heck was Ryuk's gender, anyway?

He went to sleep thinking these thoughts, and woke up the next morning rather disturbed that Ryuk was in the bed next to him, eating an apple.

He sweatdropped a few times, nervously looking over at the death god.

"Why are you in my bed?"

Ryuk paused in his apple-eating and stared at Light with the roundest, biggest eyes he had ever seen. "You slept in, so I decided to try and wake you up."

Light sweatdropped a bit more, turning away so Ryuk couldn't see his red face. _Why am I blushing again? Arrgh! _

He got out of bed to change, then suddenly realized that Ryuk was still staring at him. Had he always watched him change like this? Why did that make his stomach feel funny? He shook his head violently and proceeded to throw on a t-shirt and jeans, trying to ignore the fact that Ryuk was indeed still staring. He went downstairs for breakfast, and, as usual, he was followed closely by Ryuk.

_Don't you have anything better to do than stand behind me all day?_ Light thought irritably. Being nervous was putting him in a bad mood.

His mother came into the dining room with a plate of toast and gave it to him.

"Thanks, mom."

"Oh, Light, do you have any plans today?"

He thought for a moment. Any plans other than being stalked by a death god? Hmm… He shook his head. "None at all."

"Could you please drop this off at the cleaners for me, then?" she asked, holding out a basket of clothes.

"Sure mom." He took the basket from her and left the house.

He swallowed. Ryuk was flying behind him… He couldn't think of a way to manipulate him into going away. Heck, he could hardly think at all right now…

He ran staight into his father, who had left a few minutes before him, probably to go talk about the Kira case.

"Hey there, Light. Where you off to?" he father asked amiably.

"I'm going to drop these clothes off for mom… do you guys need me today?"

His dad shrugged. "If Ryuuzaki decides he needs your help today, he'll probably call."

"Oh."

"Well, I'll see you tonight, then!" His dad got into the car and left.

Light kept walking, letting it sink in that it was a perfectly good weekend and he had no plans. Of course he could always study, or write in the Death Note… Or…

He shook himself. No! Where did that thought come from? He would _not_ hit on Ryuk! Bad brain! Bad!

Ryuk watched Light twitch and run about. He wondered what he was doing.

Light finally got control of himself again, and picked up the clothes he had dropped. He hadn't even left his front yard yet. He sighed and started walking again. Ryuk was still following him, he just knew it…

After dropping everything off at the cleaners, he found himself alone in his room with Ryuk. He was studying and doing homework, for now.

An hour later, he turned on the TV and watched the news. Two men accused of murdering a family? Into the Death Note they go. This guy robbed a bank and killed police in the process? He goes into the Death Note as well. That seemed to be it.

Light sighed. Crime had been slowing down. He guessed people were becoming too afraid of Kira to commit the crimes they used to. He glanced at his clock. It was only noon.

He tried to surf the internet, but he knew Ryuk was still sitting on his bed, watching him. His heart was pounding. He knew what he wanted to do, but that was really stupid. Besides, hadn't he told himself he wouldn't hit on Ryuk?

Against his will, he found himself turning around and saying, "So… Ryuk… What are you doing tonight?"


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry it took me so long to update! I just didn't know where to take this story! But worry not, here is a new chapter! This might be the last... I may continue it. Depends on how snarky I'm feeling.

And... just an fyi... This is a really goofy chapter. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote it... I think I see some HDK (the story I'm co-writing with evilsockofghana) goofiness contaminating this...

I'm going to break some of the rules of the death note... for the better. insert evil grin here

Also... a bit of a spoiler contained within. I figure most people have read that far though, so maybe it will be okay?

Lastly... I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE DX Do not sue me!! I'm broketh!

Light adjusted his tie nervously. He was sweating bullets, and not just because he was getting odd looks from the people around him at the fancy restaurant he was sitting in. It had been a while since that awkward first date, and now, he was ready to drop the question to Ryuk. In his shaking hands was a velvety-covered ring box, with a ring inside. The jeweler had also given him a funny look, probably due to the size he had the ring resized to.

Ryuk finally appeared out of nowhere. He had dressed up, wearing a black dress, makeup, and black stilettos. He looked stunning. He had even styled his hair.

Light stood up and gave Ryuk a hug, oblivious to the bewildered looks of the people around him. They sat down, and when the waiter came by, Light stared at the menu one last time before making his decision.

"Can I get a glass of water for now? One for him too. And a Cesar salad for me, and for him, just an apple will be fine." The waiter was used to the crazy man who ordered food for his imaginary friend. He didn't bat an eye at the odd order and wrote it all down.

Dinner went on, and Light wondered how to propose to Ryuk. The restaurant had emptied quite a bit due to the fact that a floating apple was being consumed by an invisible being, although neither Ryuk nor Light noticed. The waiter, however, was used to this as well. He was a very good waiter.

Finally, Light gathered up the courage and leaned across the table towards Ryuk, hiding the ring box in his hand.

"Ryuk... We've been seeing each other for a very long time now... I've been thinking about this long and hard, and I've decided. I... I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He opened his hand, revealing the open ring box. Ryuk's enormous eyes teared up, running mascara tracks down his face.

"Oh, Light!" He knocked his chair over as he jumped to his feet. The remaining people in the restaurant were completely spooked now and ran out the doors screaming about a poltergeist. Ryuk didn't notice, or maybe he didn't care, because he had picked light up off the ground in a bear hug, crying and just about hyperventilating. "Yes Light! I will marry you!"

------

Now was the big problem. Light had to find a way to break it to his father that he was in love with a shinigami. How could he ever explain that he just could never feel for Misa what he felt for Ryuk?

He was sitting in the living room with his father, trying to gather up the courage to tell his father. His father was lost in thought. He had been this way ever since L died. Light was always under the suspicion that his father had never gotten over L. He seemed to really like L, even when he insisted on acting like a monkey.

Finally. It was now or never. "Dad."

Mr. Yagami looked at Light suddenly, as if he was just noticing he was there. "Oh, Light? How long have you been there?"

"About a half hour."

"...Oh."

"I need to talk to you... It's... It's really important."

There was an awkward silence before Mr. Yagami answered finally, "You got Misa pregnant, didn't you?"

Light spat out the coffee he was drinking.

Mr. Yagami continued, "Well, I know how you feel... You were an accident too, you know."

Light managed to sputter, "No! No, that's not it! Misa isn't pregnant!"

"Oh." His father seemed relieved. "I'm not ready to be a grandfather yet anyway."

Light took a deep breath. "It's... I'm breaking up with Misa."

His father looked shocked. "Why for? Such a nice young lady."

Light paused before continuing, "Because... because... I'm... I'm in love with a shinigami!"

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Later on, Light and Ryuk were sitting in his room, eating apples together.

"So, how did he take the news?" Ryuk ventured, gazing into Light's eyes.

"Better than I thought he would," he answered, returning the loving stare. "He even admitted that he had suspected it since he learned about the existence of shinigami."

"What did your mother say?"

"She doesn't know yet... It's probably for the best that she never knows." Light sighed, looking away. "I'll just have to keep acting like I'm with Misa, I guess."

Ryuk pulled him into a tight hug. "It'll be okay... We're going to get married, buy a house, and start a family. No one can stop us!"

Light managed a smile. "You're right... Let's go look at wedding dresses."

--------

It was a bright morning in April. The sun was shining, and only a few wispy clouds marred the brilliant blue sky. Everything was in place. The guests were all seated, watching Light fidget with his tux in front of the minister, a friend of Ryuk's. Of course all the human guests had to touch the death notes of both the minister and Ryuk to see them, but that was all fine and dandy, because only a few people from the police showed up anyway, out of the seven or eight invitations that were given out. Light's father looked about to burst into tears, and L, who had been reanimated just for the wedding, sat next to him, also about to cry. The shinigami seated across the aisle were just as emotional.

Finally, the stereotypical wedding music started playing, and the crowd hushed. Ryuk, wearing a long white gown, a ground-length veil, and holding a bouquet of flowers, slowly started walking down the aisle. One shinigami couldn't hold it any longer and started bawling. Light's dad and L both followed suit. Ryuk reached Light and stood next to him.

The minister talked and talked and talked, and L wondered why ministers talk so much during the ceremony. Finally, the "I do"s were said, and Light lifted Ryuk's veil (he was standing on a small stepladder). They kissed. This is such a disturbing image that I will spare you the horror of having it described to you. If you want to imagine it, be my guest, but don't come crying to me if you get nightmares.

The party afterwards was a blast, and Light and Ryuk left for their honeymoon that very night.

Their wedding night would give me nightmares too if I do anything more than just mention that it happened. I am not responsible for any brain failures if you try to imagine it.

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That's the end of chapter three! I might make a chapter four just to give things closure, but this whole story is really starting to weird me out that I wrote it so... XD


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